I Survived Duane Reade Herald Square

As promised, I took a trip to the new Duane Reade in Herald Square. I really wasn't expecting too much to complain about, after all, this is probably where they've been spending all of their money. Rather than beefing up cashier training and pharmacy coordination, that is.


Duane Reade...brought to you by the $3.00 ATM fee. Let me find a better angle.


Ok, here we go. Nice new branding, all that jazz. Location's good - it's catty-corner (kitty-corner?) to Macy's so it's great for trapping the tourists.

When you walk in, the first thing that comes to mind is suburban grocery store meets hospital. Everything is bright white and spotless. This is to be expected, after all, they just opened a little over a week ago. On the first level there's food, cold items, beer, and something they're calling 'Apartment Living'. That's just a nice way of saying 'Here's some stuff to clean your shoebox of an apartment.'

I immediately went upstairs, understanding from all the blog postings that this is where the magic happens. And holy balls, it's fucking Sephora. The entire layout is exactly like Sephora, but what's hilarious is even minor items, like hand soap, get the well-lit row with brand names on top of the shelves. The staff upstairs is dressed in all black...again, the Sephora uniform. Very interesting.

The other thing that you notice right away is that you can't turn down an aisle without at least two DR workers stocking shelves or moving items around to look busy. This is why I wasn't able to take interior photos - the place was crawling with employees. Good plan. There is one cashier during the 4:30p rush on Park Ave. South, but Herald Square needs a dude rearranging baby wipes full time. I get it.

Speaking of aisles, they're getting all fancy-like and chose a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote to tempt you into buying hand cream. On the display: 'Beauty without grace is like the hook without the bait.' Ah, the fish reference. Gets me every time.

After about five minutes of walking in a circle, I feigned interest in a product on display called 'Perfect Cleavage Cream'. A young man saddles up next to me and says triumphantly 'this is also sold at Barney's.' This is true - I checked. I asked him and his co-worker, a woman with handy makeup fanny pack, whether they were trying to copy Sephora in their layout. Their response was a look at each other, an awkward chortle, and a decisive 'NO'. But, they tell me I should take advantage of their in-store events, which happen daily, and they give makeovers.

Dear readers, there are some things I am terrified to do and it usually involves Duane Reade employees touching my face.

As I was leaving, I picked up one of their 'mini wrap' sandwiches (taste test post TK), and passed a decorative table display of Brownie Pops with the sign 'What I Need Now'. Yes, Duane, what America needs is a table of diabetes.

All-in-all, if you want to brave the tourists and hit up Herald Square's DR, you should. You'll only appreciate it more because of the ten-cent versions you have in your neighborhood.

UPDATE: DrugstoreNews has a good slideshow of interiors. Enjoy.

Oh Dear.

I know I'm not the first one to discover the magic that is 'Potted Meat Food Product' or 'generic Spam'. Hell, there's even a tribute page dedicated to the damn thing.


Really shouldn't be surprised there's a section of Duane Reade dedicated to canned meat. But wow. Wanna know the ingredients?

Ingredients: Mechanically Separated Chicken, Beef Tripe, Partially Defatted Cooked Beef Fatty Tissue, Beef Hearts, Water, Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue, Salt. Less than 2 percent: Mustard, Natural Flavorings, Dried Garlic, Dextrose, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite

I won't ruin you completely by telling you what mechanically separated chicken is. You can put on your vomit bonnet and read for yourself.

Stay Classy, Duane Reade

There are some times when you can't even make fun. Glad to hear the suit was settled, though.

From NYTimes, a Duane Reade Sexual Harassment Lawsuit:

Duane Reade Settles U.S. Harassment Suit

By Sewell Chan

Updated, 12:14 p.m. | Duane Reade, the drugstore chain with more than 200 stores in the New York area, will pay $240,000 to settle a lawsuit brought by the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission claiming a pattern of sexual harassment and retaliation at one of its Bronx stores, the commission announced on Wednesday.

At the store, employees faced sexual harassment and pregnancy harassment, the commission said. “The store manager, Madiaw Diaw, frequently made vulgar remarks about women’s private parts, sexually propositioned female employees, made lewd comments about their pregnancies and bodies, assigned unfavorable job duties to pregnant employees and repeatedly grabbed female employees, including grabbing their buttocks,” the commission said in a statement.

Employees who complained and filed discrimination charges were retaliated against by being subjected to further harassment by supervisors, the commission said.

The suit was filed in Federal District Court in Manhattan after the commission tried to reach a voluntary settlement with Duane Reade.

“This settlement achieves the E.E.O.C.’s objectives by providing appropriate relief to the victims of sexual harassment while implementing appropriate measures to prevent this kind of violation in the future,” said Spencer H. Lewis, director of the commission’s New York district office. In addition to money damages, the suit had sought improvements in training and other policies.

Duane Reade said in a statement:

Duane Reade will not tolerate sexual harassment of any kind and is committed to a safe and professional working environment for all of its employees. As such, Duane Reade has implemented stringent sexual harassment and non-discrimination polices throughout all levels of the Company, including its stores. Duane Reade requires all new and existing employees to complete mandatory training in the Company’s sexual harassment and non-discrimination policies on an annual basis.

Thanks to DJ_Darko for that tip!