- They have scorpions. I am paralyzed with fear in the face of a waterbug, but at least they won't sting you in your sleep and incur the pain of (what I was told felt like) birthing 15 babies made of spikes. (Okay, I made most of that up. But I bet it hurts a lot.)
- My cab driver from the airport to the hotel punched his steering wheel when I told him where I need to go.
- Same cab driver, upon dropping me off, pulled my bag out of the trunk, left it right next to the trunk and peeled out the second I closed my door.
- New cab driver (after dinner that night) took me to the La Quinta in Phoenix when I specifically said the La Quinta in Tempe to which he replies, "You are wrong." Well, buddy, that's you're opinion, but we're still at the wrong f-ing La Quinta.
- La Quinta.
- When scheduling my hotel shuttle to the airport they asked if I could go at a different time because that time is the drivers lunch. (Uh, yeah. Hows about I call the airline and see if they'll reschedule my flight because my driver needs to eat?)
- La Quinta shuttle driver leaves me off at baggage claim. Huh? What?!
- Frontier Airlines does not have self check-in so you are forced to stand on this very long and painfully slow moving line.
- When I got to the desk to check in with a human, I just happened to overhear someone say the flight has been delayed 2 hours. When I asked the human if that were true the conversation went a little like this:
Me: Um, is our flight delayed?
Human: You didn't already hear that when you were in line?
Me: Was there an announcement made to the line?
Me: Then no.
Human: Well, that's what the line is for.
- The final nail in this nightmare coffin: 2 hours hanging out Mexicana Cantina (or whatever it was called) trying desperatly to get the 80's waitress' attention and sweater vest guy thinking I'm playing Basic Instinct with him because I am staring intently in his direction (where the kitchen was.) What's a girl got to do to get the hell out of this town?!
Seriously, Phoenix? I was only there for one night!