When Reactions Go Wrong: The Story of My Life

I have classic customer service moments almost daily where I am so flustered by the experience that I don't think of a good comeback until I'm already halfway down the block. Very Costanza-esque.

And then there are the those other moments where I walk away, quickly, wishing that I had some sort of control over my mouth.

I get my coffee every morning from Chicken Deli and I love them despite the fact that they are called Chicken Deli. Every morning, coffee and a banana.... sometimes an egg wrap with hot sauce, which they already know I'll ask for. It's a real parent-child relationship I have with them (which includes the mussing of my hair while handing me my bag of goodies and pat on the butt as I scamper off to work.)

I went in there the other morning for a cappuccino and a banana. I was feeling the cappuccino , until they charged me 24 cents tax. 24 cents tax! The injustice! I demanded an explanation as the unfortunate fellow behind me was trying to pay for his bagel.

The reason for taxation was, "We tax cappuccino." Well, that's crazy.... you never taxed me on coffee before! This huffing and puffing went on for about a minute or two which was a whole lifetime to the guy behind me who was looking on in embarrassed horror as if I was his verbally abusive wife yelling at him as usual.

I threw my 3 dollars down and attempted to storm out, but my coffee was not in the bag. It was both next to AND hidden by the bag so that when I picked it up I knocked it the eff over! This somehow angered me more and the guy behind me instinctively shrunk. I said, "What the....!" She said, "I put a sleeve on it.... that means it's not in the bag!" I say, "I don't know what you are saying to me!"

Finally, after standing there a few seconds too long I said, "Whatever." And storm out pissed like the high school child I apparently am. In my head, I've shouted I hate you and slammed my bedroom door.

Half a block down I'm embarrassed, praying that my dead grandparents weren't just witnessing that episode and thinking, "Why am I such an asshole?"