A little off-topic, but hilarious in that 'funny but gross and goddamn don't let me get like that' sort of way:
I'm in a 4-seater (2 facing 2) sitting x from quite possibly the cutest old couple ever. He's holding their bag, and he gets all nice and settled and she goes, "Ok, now I want my bagel please." He's so damn cute. He yelled at her to give me some more room when I sat down.
I loved them UNTIL she puts down her book and pulls out the weapon of death from her crocheted bag...a nail file circa 1973, the kind with the extreme metal file that never bends or wears thin, and a plastic blue top on it. And she just goes at it. In fact, she's still going. She's doing it on her book for stability, and when the book cover fills up with enough white powder/nail dust, she sweeps it straight off.....onto my bare legs (thank you capri pants- of all the days!!). Then when she's done w/ a nail, she rubs it a few times on her polyester tan pants to ensure there are no snags. Really? I'm 2 inches away trying to eat my rice cakes and pb in peace while reading Bright Lights, Big Ass (hilarious, by the way)!
Oh god- she just finished and said to him, "Well that ought to save me some anyway. You know when they're too long they snag on everything and they rip off at a terrible angle."